Alone
by SpaceSword16
Summary: Peridot's thoughts on the first night she is stranded on earth with no connection to any other gem. (I may continue later.)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters mentioned. They all belong to Rebecca Sugar.**

She sat alone with her knees drawn to her chest, fighting tears as her mind repeated the same three questions in a resounding loop.

Why me?

Am I a failure?

Will they find me?

Even the sounds of the storm outside couldn't drown out the answers her mind conjured up.

Was she a failure? Yes, because she had completely failed her mission.

Will they find her? That question was almost laughable because even she knew that she was replaceable. A failure like her would be destroyed anyway if ever she was found by the authority.

However it was the final question was what bugged her the most, Why her?

Why was it always her that screwed up? Why was it her that was stuck in middle of nowhere alone? Why was it her who had always faced punishment for failure?

She wasn't even at full maturity yet, why was her life so hard?

She didn't even realize that she was crying until a sob shook her frame.

'_There is no hope for me, none at all. Not even if I get off the accursed planet!'_

She thought bitterly as she hid her face into her arms and allowed the tears to come freely.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Warning: This chapter contains flashbacks of torture and execution. Don't read if anything of the sort could trigger you.**_

_**Bold italic =flashback**_

_Italic=thoughts_

_What would yellow diamond do?_

She wondered with a wince, one hand reaching up to her gem as she ran her fingers over the smoothed surface. The mere feeling sending a sense of dread running through her whole being.

_There's no second chances._

She thought, her eyes suddenly burning as she thought about what those words meant.

_If I'm lucky I'll be destabilized first…at least then the pain will dulled._

She thought bitterly, sobs suddenly shaking her body as she glanced down at her hands, recalling how at one time she hadn't been the freak she was now.

Glancing down at the crushed Robonoid that she had failed to salvage from the wreckage she closed her eyes before picking it up.

_They're replaceable._

She reminded herself, though a shudder went through her as she recalled the last thing that yellow diamond had told her.

"Remember, you're just a Peridot. You are expandable."

_So am I….Yet I….I fear being destroyed._

She wondered about all the malfunctioning Robonoids that she had crushed, wondering if they knew what was going to happen to them, if they too could feel pain.

_Pity….compassion….They are empty emotions…useless….look what they got you!_

She thought bitterly, tears beginning to pour even more violently down her cheeks as she leaned her head onto her knees as her gem began to burn with a phantom pain that was linked to the memory of the past, her mind wondering back to that day.

_**She could barely contain the excitement that ran through her body at the thought of going to another planet, though she did her best to contain it around the small team that she had been assigned to.**_

"_**Now remember, Failure isn't an option. It's either kill or be killed." **_

_**The team leader, a Moissanite stated loudly. It's cold, gaze scanning over the small group which consisted of an Amethyst that towered over the group, a runt of a Jasper with a mostly red body and Peridot herself.**_

_**They had fought hard, with Peridot summoning an electric shield to protect her team from the onslaught of the small army. However just as the Squamish was about to come to the end Peridot saw something that she would never forget.**_

_**An Onyx stagger onto the battle field, not even trying to fight and begging to be spared.**_

"_**Stop! It's not a threat!" She found herself yelling at her superior, earning a glare.**_

"_**You dare to take up for this parasite? Then you will suffer the same fate as these traitors!" Moissanite stated, signaling to the Amethyst who stuck the destabilizer into Peridot's projected body.**_

_**Opening her eyes Peridot couldn't help but feel fear engulf her.**_

"_**So you're awake. I heard you disobeyed the direct order of a superior." The cloaked figure of yellow diamond stated.**_

"_**Lord Diamond…I did not mean any disrespect. The onyx was no threat to us….so I just thought." **_

_**Peridot began, however the ruler just glared.**_

"_**So you would spare a traitor their life as long as they do not fight? That compassion of yours could bring an end to all of gem kind!" the ruler exclaimed, signaling to the three guards.**_

"_**You know what to do with these four. But spare the Peridot's gem….The foolish being is still too new to understand our ways." **_

_**It was only then that she noticed that she was not alone in the room but the onyx from before as well as a ruby, jasper and tigers eye sat knelt onto the floor.**_

"_**Aren't you lucky?" The guard, a topaz sneered before pointing his sword into her back.**_

"_**Move."**_

If ever Peridot wished that she wasn't alone it was now because as the memories replayed every fiber of her being hurt.

_I wish I could have saved them…I should have done something!_

She thought as another loud sob wrecked her body.

_**Peridot found herself and the others chained to a line of low tables, the fear gripping her as her heart beat faster than it ever had.**_

"_**Which one got a reprieve?"**_

_**A gem asked, though Peridot couldn't see exactly what kind it was from her angle.**_

"_**The Peridot. Evidently just came from a kindergarten a century ago. Yellow diamond deemed it too young to fully understand."**_

_**The topaz from before stated gruffly.**_

_**Peridot tried to see what was going on however the darkness in the room made it impossible as she felt something fitted against her forehead.**_

_**However that pressure was quickly followed by pain as the machine started to quickly rotate until the world faded to nothingness.**_

_**She regenerated in pain and confused.**_

_**What had just happened?**_

_**She wondered as she opened her eyes, only to find that a jade was fixing something onto her body.**_

"_**Keep still...you'll still be unbalanced for a while. You're lucky that yellow diamond called a reprieve or you'd be facing the same as those other poor gems." It stated with what Peridot could have sworn was sympathy.**_

"_**What are you doing?"**_

_**Peridot winced at how frail her own voice sounded, though the only thing that she really cared about was the pain that was radiating from her gem.**_

"_**You did not reform properly so to make you useful again we must construct limbs form mechanics. You're a technological gem anyway….You'll be able to handle it."**_

_**It was only then that she noticed that her body indeed did not form properly and that she was lacking both arms and legs.**_

"_**Will I be able to retreat back into my gem?"**_

_**She managed to ask, trying hard to keep from crying.**_

"_**No."**_

Peridot glanced down at her hands, recalling how it had taken her hours just to be able to walk once again and even longer to pick up anything without blundering. But deep down she knew just how easily that she had gotten off because she had been there when the other gems were executed, the fire pit heated to its max and they were tossed in, screaming as they tried to reform to drag themselves up the steep walls.

_And yet I checked on the cluster. I am just as bad as they were._

Peridot thought, resting her face into her hands.

_But what can I do? I'm one gem….There's no way that I can get help on this miserable planet and the only gem that seemed to understand is crushed for all I know!_


End file.
